Lemonducks (Pilot)

Among my plethora of project ideas that I haven’t been able to complete was a kids YouTube series about a family of ducks (whose bodies happened to be lemons). The story would have been told with stick puppets.

“Pirates”

[opens on a shot of the Lemonduck cousin house, an old cardboard box, in the heavy rain]

[cut to inside where the Lemonduck cousins, Juice and Seed, stand looking outside at the rain]

Seed: I hate the rain. It’s so borrrrinnnngggg

(Juice interrupts, shaking with fear)

Juice: Seed, is there going to be lightning and thunder?

Seed: I doubt it.

[the sky outside, or the whole room, lights up for a second]

(Juice screams, running to hide under the couch as it thunders)

(Seed follows, staring at the couch for a second)

Seed: Juice, do you wanna play pirates?

(there’s a pause)

Juice: Arrrgg.

[title card “Pirates]

V.O: this episode is called pirates.

[we cut back to inside the house where the house has been transformed with blankets and a hand-drawn pirate flag]

Seed: First Mate Juice, is there any sign of land?

Juice: No Captain! And the waves only seem to be getting choppier!

Seed: Aye! We’ll have to make sure the ship is secure. House the mainsail!

Juice: Aye aye!

[Juice goes to adjust one of the blanket sails but lightning flashes, scaring her.]

[Juice falls, taking the blanket with her]

Juice: What was that?!?

Seed: It- It must have been the kraken!

Juice: The kraken!?!

Seed: Yeah!

Juice: What’s a kraken?

Seed: A sea monster.

Juice: A sea monster!

Seed: It must be trying to take the ship!

Juice: What do we do?

Seed: Um… Hoist the mainsail!

Juice: The mainsail broke.

Seed: Oh. Right. Then swab the poop deck!

(Juice chuckles)

Juice: Hehe, poop deck.

[Seed tosses her a mop]

Seed: Get to swabbin’.

[Juice gets to swabbing and hums a made up pirate song]

Seed: First Mate Juice!

Juice: Aye, Cap’n?

Seed: Who gave you permission to sing?

Juice: I did, sir!

Seed: Oh. Well, the decks swabbed enough. You can stop.

Juice: Thanks Cap’n. Did we stop the kraken?

[thunder rumbles outside]

(Juice shrieks)

Seed: No, but now we know what he wants!

Juice: We do?

Seed: Aye. He’s hungry. Didn’t you hear his tummy rumbling?

(Juice shakes her head)

[Thunder rumbles outside]

(Juice shrieks)

Seed: There it goes again! The poor thing must be starving!

Juice: What do we do?

Seed: We feed him of course! That will stop the rumblings!

Juice: Perfect! (pause) What do krakens eat?

Seed: Uh… gross stuff!

Juice: Like relish?

Seed: Yes! And artichokes!

Juice: Or mustard!

Seed: Liverwurst!

Juice: We have liverwurst in the fridge.

Seed: Aye! Then that’s what we’ll give him! Go fetch the liverwurst!

Juice: Aye! Aye!

[Juice runs into the kitchen. Aunt Dimple is there]

Dimple: Hey, hon. How’s it going?

Juice: Can’t talk ma’am. I have to get liverwurst to feed the kraken.

(Juice opens the fridge)

Dimple: Okie Dokie!

(Juice leaves with the liverwurst)

Dimple: Wait, what?

[cut back to living room as Juice enters]

Juice: Where do you want it Cap’n?

Seed: Throw it overboard!

Juice: Aye aye! (lowers voice) Where’s overboard?

Seed: (voice low) Out the window.

(Juice opens the window and tosses the liverwurst out, getting drenched in the process)

(shuts the window)

(Dimple enters the room)

Dimple: Whoa! How’s it going, sailors?

Seed: Arg! It’s going good! When’d you get aboard this ship?

Dimple: Two minutes. What have you been up to?

Juice: We’re trying to appease the kraken so he’ll stop attacking the ship.

[it thunders again]

(Dimple gives a “whoa” and pretends to rock with the boat)

Dimple: I don’t think it worked!

Peel: aye! We need stronger bait! 

Dimple: Captain, are you sure that's wise?

Peel: Do you have a better idea?

Juice: what if we try and sail away from the kraken?

Peel: and risk getting eaten?!?

Dimple: she's right! We can escape if we just get something else to grab it's attention.

Uncle Rind enters the living room

Rind: Heyo, what's up everyone?

(All other ducks look at each other)

(Sharp cut to Juice holding Rind at swordpoint, both facing the front door)

Peel: Aye! Walk the plank you scallywag!

Rind: what did I do?

Juice giggles

Juice: nothing, Dad. We need you to be kraken bait.

Rind: I'm not kraken bait! Tell them, hon.

Dimple: you look like bait to me. WALK THE PLANK!

Juice & Peel: Aye!

(Peel opens the door and Juice shoves Rind out of the house)

Rind wails dramatically

(Dimple looks out the window)

Dimple: The Kraken's spotted him!

Peel: Good! First Mate Juice, shift the sails!

Juice: Aye, Cap'n!

(She crosses the room)

Peel: Cabinmate Mom!

Dimple: Aye?

Peel: Man the wheel!

Dimple: aye!

(She goes to the makeshift wheel)

Juice: what will you do?

(Dramatic shot of Peel)

Peel: I'm going to swab the poop deck

Dimple & Juice: haha, poop deck.

(They each do their job, singing a made up sea shanty)

(After a few seconds, Juice pauses)

Juice: did it work

There's a bang at the door

(All three scream)

Juice: the kraken!

(The door opens, lightning strikes)

(Rind enters)

Rind: you used me. As kraken bait?!

Juice: desperate times call for desperate measures.

Dimple: you were the easiest crew member to lose 

Rind: woowwww.

Peel: how'd you escape the kraken?

Rind: I fed him my emergency ham sandwich and  punched him in the eye. The big baby let me go.

(Peel eyes the window)

Peel: a likely story.

Juice: it still seems like kraken weather to me.

(The fog clears, there's a blue sky outside)

Peel & Juice: wow!

Dimple: oh great, now the kids will think you're cool.

Rind: I am cool.

Dimple: you own a clown wig.

Juice: clown wigs are cool 

Rind: see?

[cut to credits]

[credit scene is the outside of the house. When the lightning flashes we see the house as a pirate ship, but only in those split seconds].